I LOVE YOU

It has been quite a while since I’ve written.  Not because my life has been mundane and nothing to write about, but because over the course of a year my life has completely changed and I don’t even know where to begin.

Life has a way of throwing some pretty hefty curveballs, some good, some great, some not so good and some down right devastating.   But when you mix them all together it seems to balance out to a beautiful life and although I may not understand everything, I do believe God has truly blessed me.

I remember thinking in January that this is going to be my year.  I could feel it.  I could sense something amazing was going to happen.   And it did.  I fell in love again.  Head over heals completely just stupid in love.  It was something I never thought I was capable of doing again as the crippling fear of divorce and not being loved consumed me for years.  Then I went through the stage of not being so loveable myself.  I craved being alone.  Just me in my pajamas eating my ice cream and watching Lifetime Movies on the couch was my life for many months, and I was ok with that.

I said it first…I said I love you.   I got, “Oh, I didn’t know that.”   His answer was no surprise to me, he is and forever will be the only person I know that I could be in love with and want to kill simultaneously.   Do I regret saying it, no, because I do love him.  I will be forever grateful to him because he taught me that it is ok to love, even if it is not reciprocated, even if it makes my heart ache again.  He made me feel alive again.  He made me laugh, he made me open up, we talked for hours and hours non stop, other nights he would just hold me and we would sit in silence both knowing at that moment nothing else mattered.

When we decided to end it and remain the best of friends, I didn’t feel the urge to fall back into Lifetime Movies and copious amounts of chocolate ice cream.   I wanted, more than ever, to feel LOVED, and to love someone.

Plot Twist!  I fell in love twice!

To Be Continued…..

Skipping work and Herding Cattle

18342616_10213271225878652_4796085983945255617_nI called into work and told them I had to watch the fog rise, I couldn’t imagine being behind my computer.
They laugh, tell me to have fun and be careful….I promise to send some pictures, and I’m off.
Today I am particularly grateful to be able to work at a company that understands my need to enjoy The Greenbrier Valley and surrounding counties.
On beautiful mornings like this, they automatically expect the text or call saying “I will be in later, the fog on the mountains are too beautiful to miss.”
Real Estate is a fast paced business and we work very hard to make sure each and every one of our clients are taken care of.
Our goal is to help you sell and find your perfect home in a timely manner.
As a Marketing Director, I am not always the one that you see or talk to, and if I do answer the phone, I have probably accidentally hung up on you because transferring a call is nearly impossible!
I’m the calm behind this business, the one driving around in my car at 5:30am because the sunrise is too beautiful and I can’t sleep in.
I’m the one who gets a text message from Jill asking me if I am out getting pics of the Greenbrier Valley Sunset!
We at Greenbrier Real Estate Service don’t just want to Market your home or show you the perfect piece of property, we actually care about this sublime part of West Virginia.
We can tell you where to find the perfect sunsets, the best hiking trails, or give you directions to the nearest restaurant.
We will always be there to answer any question you have about this beautiful piece of Almost Heaven. 18402636_10213271226718673_876128545750808326_n
It’s funny what can happen when you sit on top of a quiet mountain by yourself;
I could quite possibly have the best job in the world, even when you have to perform an impromptu cattle herd.

I Don’t Know Her But I Love  Her 


I firmly believe in Matthew 6:4…so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

And this is something I have always taught my children,  but I can’t help and share this. 

Yesterday was a mad rush all day long. From sick dogs to losing Adam’s basketball jersey….and having to be at the gym by 4:30. We almost skipped dinner (Well, I was screaming that we were skipping dinner) when the jersey magically appeared on the floor in the backseat of the car!  

With very little time left, we agreed to eat Chinese. The waitress seats us next to a tiny frail elderly woman, she immediately smiled and greeted all the kids. My niece Sophia said, “I don’t know her but I already love her” as we got settled in to our booth. 

We all were eating, when the lady said, “Excuse me, can you tell me how much the buffet is?” (She had been sipping on a drink, I assumed she had already eaten)

I told her how much it was, when I glance at my own table. The kids stopped eating. They would not touch another bite of their food. Sophia started whispering for me to pay for her dinner, but I didn’t know how to do it without the possibility of offending or making her uncomfortable. We decided that if she was still there after we ate that I would pay for her dinner. With the decision made, the kids immediately wanted to leave!!

Kids all made a point to give her their biggest smiles and tell her to have a good day as they were leaving. 

I told the waitress to add a meal on the ticket for her, I paid the bill of $70 and we quietly left not mentioning it again.  

I spent all of my cash and needed to run by an ATM to get more before we went to the basketball game. But decided to go home and change my clothes first. I put my coat on and walked out the door in a panic because (shocker) we were late. Put my hand in my pocket, and pulled out $50. (Seriously God?)

After games, grocery shopping and Dairy Queen…the money, well, was once again gone and I didn’t have any cash.  

Adam decided he was going to Roanoke at 5:30 this morning with Kerri to watch Sophia’s volleyball tournament. I texted Kerri (my sis)  and told her I had no cash, of course she didn’t care. I told Adam that Kerri would take  care of everything today then he puts his hands in his pockets and pulled out $25!! 

DINNER WAS ON GOD with $5 to spare!

With everything that is going on in the world, I felt led to share this story.  What if we all treated each other with kindness?  Without asking for anything in return?  

Something to think about, I guess. 

I AM

My girlfriends and I started a private group on Facebook a few months ago, mainly to encourage each other and let each other know that we have each other’s backs.    A very good friend of mine posted this yesterday:

21 day challenge starts tomorrow and here is your goal! I am reading The Power of I am by Joel Osteen and its powerful. I want to challenge all of us to post a status to Facebook and repeat it in the group every morning that says I am… Beautiful, strong, valuable, healthy… You get the idea. I am not going to stop there, I am going to write the sentiment on my hand so I look down and I remember that I am fearfully and wonderfully made! Who is with me? They say it takes 21 days to start a new habit. Lets start a new journey! If you write it on your hand it’s a great way to start a conversation and encourage others!

The beautiful posts and pictures started pouring in……

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I read their stories.  As tears started filling my eyes, my mind drifted back to 4 years ago.

This is what I wrote:

I am up for the 21 Day Challenge……But man, did it get me thinking.
I AM Crystal Adams Faulkiner. You are probably thinking, ok? Yes, that is your name. Well, to me, it is more than that. Let me explain.
Yesterday someone introduced me (twice) as Dr. Faulkiners ex wife. Unfortunately, this is a common theme for me.

4 years ago next month, the man I vowed to love For Better or Worse left me.  It was the most devastating thing that has ever happened to me in my life. I remember thinking, “What am I going to do?” “How will I ever survive ALONE?” This fear of NOT being Dr. Faulkiner’s wife anymore terrified me so much that I agreed to go to therapy. I was ready to go in and tell the Therapist all the things I was willing to do to get my family back.
I walked in (tissue box in hand) and sat down. The first thing she asked me was, “Who are you?”
My response, “I am Caty and Adam’s mom….Kelby’s wife……….”
“NO, I didn’t ask that!” She quickly cut me off. “I said WHO ARE YOU?
“I am a mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter……”
“Crystal, WHO ARE YOU?” This time she raised her voice.
No matter how hard I tried, I could not understand what she was trying to get me to say. I never wanted to be anyone else since the day I met him, I knew that I wanted to be Caty and Adam’s Mom and I was so proud to be Dr. Faulkiner’s wife. She made me so incredibly angry, I vowed to never see her again. Yet that question, WHO ARE YOU? still haunts me 4 years later.
So this morning, I get on Facebook and all of you lovely ladies are all beginning this challenge together….thank you for allowing me to be a part of it….but as I was looking at all of your “I AM’s”, I found myself in the same predicament again 4 years later.
I am still trying to be a Mom, Aunt, Sister, Daughter, and sometimes I even try to be a Girlfriend. (which is nauseating to me!! haha)
Somewhere along the way I lost myself.

So today, I have decided that……

I am ready to find who I am to let go of who I used to be.

I AM Crystal Adams Faulkiner!!

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no ordinary life

To be continued……..

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Seasons Change 

  

Every Spring, I am reminded of this beautiful passage of scripture.  

Ecclesiastes 3King James Version (KJV)

3 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

  

 

Little Brother/Big Sis

When you have two completely opposite children, one “mainstream” the other on the “spectrum”, some days can get rough.  Her brother gets frustrated pretty quickly and lashes out at her.  She is 14, so the drama, well can be pretty dramatic! This is the one thing she loves to do for her brother….she gives him a piggy back ride to the bathroom and fixes his hair for him every morning.    He (reluctantly) does it because he knows that it makes her happy and makes her feel special and like a big sis!!  

I say it all the time….but man, I love these guys!!