I Don’t Know Her But I Love  Her 


I firmly believe in Matthew 6:4…so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

And this is something I have always taught my children,  but I can’t help and share this. 

Yesterday was a mad rush all day long. From sick dogs to losing Adam’s basketball jersey….and having to be at the gym by 4:30. We almost skipped dinner (Well, I was screaming that we were skipping dinner) when the jersey magically appeared on the floor in the backseat of the car!  

With very little time left, we agreed to eat Chinese. The waitress seats us next to a tiny frail elderly woman, she immediately smiled and greeted all the kids. My niece Sophia said, “I don’t know her but I already love her” as we got settled in to our booth. 

We all were eating, when the lady said, “Excuse me, can you tell me how much the buffet is?” (She had been sipping on a drink, I assumed she had already eaten)

I told her how much it was, when I glance at my own table. The kids stopped eating. They would not touch another bite of their food. Sophia started whispering for me to pay for her dinner, but I didn’t know how to do it without the possibility of offending or making her uncomfortable. We decided that if she was still there after we ate that I would pay for her dinner. With the decision made, the kids immediately wanted to leave!!

Kids all made a point to give her their biggest smiles and tell her to have a good day as they were leaving. 

I told the waitress to add a meal on the ticket for her, I paid the bill of $70 and we quietly left not mentioning it again.  

I spent all of my cash and needed to run by an ATM to get more before we went to the basketball game. But decided to go home and change my clothes first. I put my coat on and walked out the door in a panic because (shocker) we were late. Put my hand in my pocket, and pulled out $50. (Seriously God?)

After games, grocery shopping and Dairy Queen…the money, well, was once again gone and I didn’t have any cash.  

Adam decided he was going to Roanoke at 5:30 this morning with Kerri to watch Sophia’s volleyball tournament. I texted Kerri (my sis)  and told her I had no cash, of course she didn’t care. I told Adam that Kerri would take  care of everything today then he puts his hands in his pockets and pulled out $25!! 

DINNER WAS ON GOD with $5 to spare!

With everything that is going on in the world, I felt led to share this story.  What if we all treated each other with kindness?  Without asking for anything in return?  

Something to think about, I guess. 

Life is Still Beautiful 


17 years ago today I made a promise that I would love him forever…This morning, as I do every October 23rd, I thanked God for the 13 years God allowed me to be a wife. 

So today, I celebrate.  

Not my marriage…but my KIDS. 

If it wasn’t for this day 17 years ago, I would have never had been blessed with being Catherine and Adam’s Mommy!!   

Philippians 4:11-13 says I am NOT saying this because I am in need. For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation…..

How Beautiful Heaven Must Be

I read in a book one time of a child that had a near death experience and went to Heaven.   He later explained Heaven in such great detail as he talked about family members he saw, even sat on Jesus lap, but what I remember about the book was his vivid description of the colors in Heaven.   

I remember reading it over and over, then closing my eyes to imagine how beautiful Heaven must be.  

I don’t know if what this little fella saw was real, but he inspired so many people by telling his story, including me.  

After spending most of the day yesterday enjoying some time outside basking in the glory of the final days of summer, with a subtle hint of Fall in the air, I took my nieces to a favorite childhood spot that I hadn’t  been to in many years. 

“Beauty Mountain”  

My first thought, How did I not appreciate this when I was younger?   My second thought, I need a place like this to come to everyday and just be alone with God.   My third thought as the sun was warm on my face, You are here, aren’t you God?  My fourth thought, HOW BEAUTIFUL HEAVEN MUST BE!



I prayed for my family.  I prayed for dear friends.  I thanked God that He showed me that just because I may not feel Him some days and He’s not speaking to me as I think He should…He is still there.    He’s all around me.   He never left me.  

The words BE STILL kept echoing in my mind and even in my heart yesterday.   I’m pretty sure that was God telling me that everything is going to be alright.   

You really are here, aren’t you God?

We read of a place that’s called heaven,

It’s made for the pure and the free;

These truths in God’s word He has given,

How beautiful heaven must be.
How beautiful heaven must be

Sweet home of the happy and free;

Fair haven of rest for the weary,

How beautiful heaven must be.
In heaven no drooping nor pining,

No wishing for elsewhere to be;

God’s light is forever, there shining,

How beautiful heaven must be.
How beautiful heaven must be

Sweet home of the happy and free;

Fair haven of rest for the weary,

How beautiful heaven must be.
The angels so sweetly are singing,

Up there by the beautiful sea;

Sweet chords from their gold harps are ringing,

How beautiful heaven must be.
How beautiful heaven must be

Sweet home of the happy and free;

Fair haven of rest for the weary,

How Beautiful Heaven Must Be ❤️

I AM

My girlfriends and I started a private group on Facebook a few months ago, mainly to encourage each other and let each other know that we have each other’s backs.    A very good friend of mine posted this yesterday:

21 day challenge starts tomorrow and here is your goal! I am reading The Power of I am by Joel Osteen and its powerful. I want to challenge all of us to post a status to Facebook and repeat it in the group every morning that says I am… Beautiful, strong, valuable, healthy… You get the idea. I am not going to stop there, I am going to write the sentiment on my hand so I look down and I remember that I am fearfully and wonderfully made! Who is with me? They say it takes 21 days to start a new habit. Lets start a new journey! If you write it on your hand it’s a great way to start a conversation and encourage others!

The beautiful posts and pictures started pouring in……

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I read their stories.  As tears started filling my eyes, my mind drifted back to 4 years ago.

This is what I wrote:

I am up for the 21 Day Challenge……But man, did it get me thinking.
I AM Crystal Adams Faulkiner. You are probably thinking, ok? Yes, that is your name. Well, to me, it is more than that. Let me explain.
Yesterday someone introduced me (twice) as Dr. Faulkiners ex wife. Unfortunately, this is a common theme for me.

4 years ago next month, the man I vowed to love For Better or Worse left me.  It was the most devastating thing that has ever happened to me in my life. I remember thinking, “What am I going to do?” “How will I ever survive ALONE?” This fear of NOT being Dr. Faulkiner’s wife anymore terrified me so much that I agreed to go to therapy. I was ready to go in and tell the Therapist all the things I was willing to do to get my family back.
I walked in (tissue box in hand) and sat down. The first thing she asked me was, “Who are you?”
My response, “I am Caty and Adam’s mom….Kelby’s wife……….”
“NO, I didn’t ask that!” She quickly cut me off. “I said WHO ARE YOU?
“I am a mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter……”
“Crystal, WHO ARE YOU?” This time she raised her voice.
No matter how hard I tried, I could not understand what she was trying to get me to say. I never wanted to be anyone else since the day I met him, I knew that I wanted to be Caty and Adam’s Mom and I was so proud to be Dr. Faulkiner’s wife. She made me so incredibly angry, I vowed to never see her again. Yet that question, WHO ARE YOU? still haunts me 4 years later.
So this morning, I get on Facebook and all of you lovely ladies are all beginning this challenge together….thank you for allowing me to be a part of it….but as I was looking at all of your “I AM’s”, I found myself in the same predicament again 4 years later.
I am still trying to be a Mom, Aunt, Sister, Daughter, and sometimes I even try to be a Girlfriend. (which is nauseating to me!! haha)
Somewhere along the way I lost myself.

So today, I have decided that……

I am ready to find who I am to let go of who I used to be.

I AM Crystal Adams Faulkiner!!

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Tired of the Rain?

” Seems just like yesterday it rained (or snowed) , it looks like it might rain again today , boy I wish the sun would shine and dry up this rain” Have you ever felt like that, you are just tired of the rain?

If your like me, when it is summer you want it to be cold, when it is winter you want it to be hot. One moment you are tired of rain the next your ready to go swimming just to get wet. Many of us are just never satisfied. I’m guilty of that daily.

In life, there are many storms. Some involve rain, others because of the lack of rain. Sometimes I cause myself problems other times problems just seem to find me. Whatever the case may be everyone  has “problems”.

I’m reminded of a story where Jesus sent his disciples to cross the water. while he stayed on the shore . While they were rowing, a storm came upon them. Of course they panicked like all of us.  Jesus, who was still on the shore, saw them struggling. (Mark 6:48)  They were terrified but Johns (6:20) account says Jesus called to them and said, “Don’t worry. I’m here!” What they didn’t know was Jesus sent them in the storm on purpose, I believe He wanted to teach them and us that not only will we go through storms, sometimes He sends us directly into them just so we will trust him.

As a Mom I’m reminded of how my children act when they are scared. I can imagine my kids grabbing my hand and holding on tightly, it makes me feel good that they trust me and know I will always protect them and never leave them.

God never worries, He is not afraid of the storm, nothing is too big for Him , but He does want us to trust Him. He said he would never leave us. He said he would be with us even until the end. He promised that when we leave this world we would be in his presence. Paul said it like this, ” If God be for us, WHO can be against us?” These are some of His promises and everyday He’s asking us to stand on them.
Jesus is alive, so hold tight, Hold on to the promises of God.

Little Brother/Big Sis

When you have two completely opposite children, one “mainstream” the other on the “spectrum”, some days can get rough.  Her brother gets frustrated pretty quickly and lashes out at her.  She is 14, so the drama, well can be pretty dramatic! This is the one thing she loves to do for her brother….she gives him a piggy back ride to the bathroom and fixes his hair for him every morning.    He (reluctantly) does it because he knows that it makes her happy and makes her feel special and like a big sis!!  

I say it all the time….but man, I love these guys!!

‘Tis Grace has brought me safe thus far….

Facebook Memories….you know the thing that pops up every morning that reminds you of your past?   I never deleted my “married” past off of my Facebook.    It is something I just never thought of doing.  So there are days that I wake up and see some pretty awesome memories of when we, at least, looked like a happy family.

Yesterday the memories came across the timeline, and it reminded me of an Anniversary. The 3rd anniversary of the divorce.   The day the judge so coldly and almost angrily told me that the marriage I spent 13 years creating was no longer existent.

Just like that, Over.

This year I felt a bit different as I had the previous 2 years before.   While doing my morning devotions, the song Amazing Grace kept going through my mind.

‘Tis Grace has brought me safe thus far….

Funny, when I first decided to name my blog this, I named it because of….

and Grace will lead me home…

This morning, it hit me.   Grace has brought me safe thus far.     I am so grateful.  For this journey.   For the deserts.  Even for the unanswered prayers.    Sometimes it is hard to see God’s plan for your life, other days he makes it clear.

Anyway, today I was grateful.  For the Memories, Good and Bad.   I am grateful for the years I got to be married.  Grateful for the two blessings he gave me and for the time I get to spend with them.    I am grateful for my faithfulness in the marriage.  I am grateful for the love and respect that I gave him.  I am grateful for Unconditional Love.

So, Thank You Facebook Memories!    Thank you for reminding me of the good days and even in the midst of one of the worst days of my entire life that Grace still leads me home!

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