Winter…Not a big fan.
I have many reasons:
- It’s cold
- I don’t like to shovel snow
- I have dark hardwood floors that capture every footprint…human and animal.
- Snow Days (Need I say more?)
- The over-consumption of FOOD!!
Ahhhh…..the joys of Motherhood, when you’re only joy in life is sitting in the carpool lane and for a brief moment can take a deep breath and sit in silence. Yet, for some moms (and sometimes dads) we take that moment and soak in the silence and forget to look up from our cell phones to notice the long carpool line behind you and the gaping hole between you and the car in front of you. Then the one frustrated Mom behind you finally honks loudly and you are startled and slightly embarrassed as you put the car in drive and make your drive of shame to pick your kid up from school. (we’ve all done it, although I have never had the heart to honk. I know what is like to try to squeeze in the last minute before homework, practices and dinner consumes the rest of your evening!!)
I think we all fall into a rut around this time of year. A feeling of desperation as we try to tell the kids for the 20th time (in your loud Mommy voice) to: Take off your shoes! Stop hitting your brother! Tell your sister you are sorry! Where is your-insert sport here-shoes? We are going to be late!! I forgot your water bottle…Hold on let me see if I can find a bottle of water in the floor of the car!! (Yes, I do that!) For the love of all that is Holy, just stop fighting!!!! Don’t make me call your father!
By the end of the day it is a pleasure to just bury yourself on the couch and eat your feelings. Be jealous of every one’s life as you scroll through Social Media. Pray for a free cleaning service. Then fall asleep around 8:30, wake up at 1am only to realize your son is still on his “date with Destiny” as he likes to call it….better known as Xbox addiction!
Sometimes, I sit at home and have this ongoing pity party for myself as I self loathe over a pint of ice cream and a Romance Novel…dreaming of a man to pine over me as he confesses his deep love for me. He sweeps me off of my feet and takes me on exotic vacations and the nanny watches the children! Then I snap back into reality when I catch a whiff of fresh dog poop from the puppy that refuses to potty train!
At this point, I would settle for the two boys that live with me to properly aim while using the bathroom. (Seems like bathroom issues are a problem with all male species in my house!!)
I realize that I am just like any other Mom out there…overworked, overrun, underappreciated and underpaid.
Just as I was ready to give up and go into parental hibernation for the rest of the winter, my sister and I were headed to pick up my exchange son from soccer practice and I noticed something. Something absolutely beautiful. The fog was low and after a day of non stop torrential downpours, the sun slowly crept it’s way through the clouds just at sunset. It was one of the most beautiful sights I have seen since Autumn and I couldn’t get to the perfect location fast enough to get a picture. Meaning, my sister was driving and I was yelling at her to drive faster before we missed the perfect lighting. Someone who doesn’t understand photography, can’t possibly get that there is a slim timeline between the perfect light and Nothing left to photograph.
I jumped out of her moving 4Runner as I ran through the field. Measuring the width between trees, fog and the sunset. Feeling more alive than I have felt for a very long time…getting a sense of purpose. My purpose. Just for me!! That perfect timeline, although brief, was just me and Nature. As God intended.
As brief as it was, I was so thankful that God showed me, in the midst of being busy, something beautiful.
Sometimes we all need little reminders that as ugly, dull or busy as our lives may seem, we can always find some kind of beauty in it.
It has been three years since the divorce…I find my comfort and happiness in the kids, a good book, food and an occasional bubble bath. But nothing makes me happier when God gives me something beautiful to photograph.
I am chugging down my second Slim Fast and am 4 pounds lighter this week on the scales. Something about a good sunset to make me realize that I am part of this great big world, so I might as well do my part to make it beautiful.
Advice from a tree:
Stand tall and Proud. Go out on a limb. Remember your roots. Drink plenty of water. Be content with your natural beauty. ENJOY THE VIEW!