I wrote this post in the early morning hours of New Years Eve, since I was in the wilderness with no internet, I had to wait to get back to civilization to post it.
Happy New Year!!!
2:30am on New Years Eve. Sound asleep on the couch at the family cabin in the middle of nowhere. I hear my Daddy creeping downstairs, he sits on the couch and asks if it is ok if he hangs out downstairs for a while, he was feeling a bit chlosterphobic upstairs amidst the other 6 people that was sharing the loft with him.
How can I ever deny a chance to hang out with Dear ‘ol Dad. We sat quietly while he read a Louis L’Amour book. To be honest, I just stared at him. He’s a handsome man with gray hair, green eyes and one of the best dressed fellas around. He has one of the biggest hearts and is always secretly helping someone in need and he requires zero recognition (I definitely get that from him).
Last night, as I was looking at him, it was the first time in my 40 years on this earth that I saw my Daddy as an old man. It caught me off guard as I stared at a man that I never saw age before, yet there he was.
As I lay there next to Daddy, I started thinking back on 2015.
I traveled a lot. Went to many concerts. Some Broadway shows and plays. I celebrated my 40th Birthday. I took a Marketing position at a Real Estate Firm. I even had my first relationship since the divorce in 2012. Although brief, it was a great experience for me, and made me realize that I am finally ready to start dating again.
I even marked some things off of my Bucket List, like going to New York and overcoming my fear of heights and Motorcycles.
All in all, it’s been a good year.
But each passing year, makes us older. As much as I say that I can’t wait for the kids to turn 18, I blinked and my daughter is turning 14 in two weeks. My son will be 11 in Februrary. And I hit the big 4-0 this past October.
Here I sit, remembering his 40th birthday as I stare at the silver headed man reading his book next to me. 35 years ago? How did that happen? How does life go by so quickly?
Blink…and you miss it!
I wish that I could make time slow down, but with each passing year it seems to go by faster than ever.
Here we are on the Eve of 2016.
In the stillness of the night. Just me and Dad. I can hear the rhythmic heavy breathing of everyone in the loft. I can kind of see how Daddy was a bit chlosterphobic, that’s why I volunteer to sleep on the couch. I can’t help but wonder how many more Years I have left with him. It scares me.
But tonight….I am going to enjoy him. I am going to savor the soft sounds lingering upstairs. In a few short hours I’m going to sit down and eat breakfast with my kids and both of my parents. And at midnight tonight we will bring in the New Year as a family. As disfunctional as we may seem sometimes, they will always be mine.
Have a safe and Blessed 2016….Make some memories.