The Purple Lunchbox or Black Bean Salad

My son happens to be the pickiest eater on earth!   His diet consists of soft beef tacos, chicken slathered in Sweet Baby Rays BBQ sauce, French toast, Chocolate chip pancakes, and cereal.

I was raised in a family where my mom did not take “special orders” for dinner.  Her Motto was You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.   I never remember not liking food!!   My sisters and I weren’t picky eaters.

My son, on the other hand, exhausts me.

Every morning, it is four pieces of French toast at Grandmas house. (And it has to be at Gma’s house or it just isn’t the same!)   He is so spoiled by his “Gma” it is almost nauseating to me!

Dinner…..well, dinner varies from soft tacos at least once a week to For God’s sake!!!  Just eat something!!   Last night  was the For God’s sake!!!  Just eat something!!  night.  

“Mom, what is for dinner?”

“Stuffed shells, salad, French bread!”

(Insert Gagging noises here!!!)

(Insert *sigh* here….and a touch of desperation)

It was one of those days that had been filled with homeschool, tutoring, car pool line, Homebound drop off and pick up and grocery store.    Going home and throwing dinner together, not only for me but also for my Aunt and sick neighbor.   (Thank goodness for teenagers with drivers licenses and their willingness to deliver food to the sick and afflicted.)    I ended the night at ladies Bible study….entitled Breathe.

Have you ever actually looked at what they are feeding your kid at school?  I rarely do!  (yep I am that mom!)  My son gets cold lunch, on occasion, when I am not running around the house like a mad woman yelling for for him to get out of bed, brush your teeth, comb your hair, rushing to Gma’s house for French toast, threatening him If you don’t get out of bed I am making you wear Khakis to school!  (that gets him up every time!)    By the time we get to Gma’s house, he plops down at the bar devours 4 slices of French toast, drinks a cup of Sugar and Cream with a shot of coffee as I pilfer through the house looking to see if there is something to make for lunch.

Today the menu was horrifying!  I wouldn’t consider making that poor kid eat what the cafeteria was serving.  I think they may have been punishing the kids for something they did last week.   It was the ISIS of cafeteria school lunches.    Marinated black bean salad.

(Insert my own Gagging noises here)

I rushed around this morning trying to get lunch packed.  Peanut butter sandwich, oranges, strawberries, cookies and potato chips….it was a beautiful healthy lunch and I felt like an accomplished mother!

Wait…”Where is your lunchbox, son?”

“I don’t know Mom, where did you have it last?”

Where did you have it last?

Wanna see me lose my mind Quickly?

IF I KNEW WHERE I HAD IT LAST THEN I WOULD KNOW WHERE IT IS!   AND  BY THE WAY, I DIDN’T HAVE IT LAST!

Back to the house I went….a Mom on a mission!   The mission was accomplished when I found his sister’s old lunchbox.  Dark Purple in color lined with Black trim.  I quickly scratched out her name with  my trusty black Sharpie and prayed all the way back to Gma’s house that he wouldn’t make a fuss over the purple lunchbox!  My Mommy temper was scaling at a dangerously high level between I need a Red Bull and JESUS!  (in no particular order)

I walked back into Gma’s, he was patiently waiting for me to get back with the lunch box.  I carefully packed it and to my surprise, he never said anything about the color (prayer answered!!)    He kisses Gma goodbye as he tells her that no one can compare to her French toast skills  (he is such a Butt kisser!)  and we head to school!

About half way to school,  he looked at me and said “Mom, I just remembered, we are having Pizza for lunch today!”

I wanted to scream “LIAR!!!!”

Instead, I looked over at him and said “You are embarrassed of the Purple lunchbox aren’t you?”

“yes Mommy!”

I  made him take it anyway because toting a dark purple lunchbox would have to be better than Marinated black bean salad  (insert more gagging here)

Who knows if he actually pulled out the purple lunch box for lunch or not.  I an only hope he  chose not to eat that disgusting meal.

Just in case, I bought him some rainbow Sherbet!

Menu at the house tonight…Homemade beef stew.  (there is no way he will eat that!)

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9 thoughts on “The Purple Lunchbox or Black Bean Salad

  1. OMG. This is such a riot! I laughed almost all the way through. “…Where did you have it last?” OMG, I would’ve throttled him! I’m so glad I’m not the only mother with a house like this!

    Like

  2. Black bean salads can be amazing!!! Nava Atlas has YUMMY vegan recipes that even my autistic kiddo AKS FOR!
    If the school makes it with plain beans and some oily dressing substance only, i am sorry.

    Like

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