Comfort and Joy


I never talk about my extended family much.  Not that I don’t love them, but the older we get, we have seemed to lose touch with each other.  We lost our common bond we used to share.  We still see each other on an occasional weekly dinner.  Kids dominate the table as the adults scatter around the bar, living room and I have been known to stand and eat!  Something I have done since the kids were little and I  was still married.  I never sat down because I was always the one who waited on the family.   “Do you want more?  Let me get it for you.”  I am the overbearing nurturing type. Always have been
My sis, on the other hand, is the “get it yourself” type of person.  She’s a dine and dash chick!
Not that it is a bad thing, we have two completely different personalities.  An on more than one occasion, we have gotten into someone heavily worded fights.  Which leads to me storming home and her saying that  Crystal is the favorite!   (That always cracks me up, at 36 yrs old and 39 years old, we still think our folks play favorites.)
Our fights lately have caused quite a gap in our relationship as sisters.  We act like nothing is wrong, but truth is, we both smile and nod yet both of us know there is strong anamosity between the two of us.
We go to the same church, sit on the same pew, but rarely speak a word. Mainly because there are always 3 teenagers who fight to get a seat next to us every Sunday, my kids and her kids.  Then sometimes throw in her new husband and that gives us one filled up pew!!  I sit on one end and she sits on the other.
My very dear friend from church always sits close to me.  Sometimes behind me, yesterday in front of me, and occasionally beside me. That is, if he can find room because his teenage daughters are the ones who quickly claim their seats next to me.  He also writes.  Quite eloquently actually.  After church, we had a chance to exchange conversation as we do most days.  He has become one of my very best friends and we get each other because unfortunately, we share the common bond of divorce. I think God has put us in each others lives.  He put us in each other’s  children’s lives.  He’s the first to give a piggy back ride to my son every Wednesday after church.  He adores my daughter and she thinks he’s a pretty cool guy.  Fist bumps to Adam on Sunday mornings and Caty will always give her shy giggle that occasionally leads to a big hug by the end of church.  Our kids are like brothers and sisters.  As a matter of fact, they are almost nauseating!!  Hugging and kissing hello.  Hugging and kissing  goodbye.  Hugging and kissing during church!!!  Sleepovers at my house which leads to cartwheels, giggling, wrestling, and more hugging and kissing!!!  (And did I mention his kids are in high school!!!)  He is a good man who is doing an amazing  job raising two beautiful young ladies.

Talk about going off on a tangent….now where was i?
Oh yes, our conversations.

On more than one occasion, we have spoken about an elderly couple at church.  They are the most in love two people I have ever seen in my life.  I am quite sure they are in their late 80’s.   They always sit close to my friend and I in church and I have seen him stare at them as much as I do.  My friend, wrote about them yesterday in his blog.   I sent him a text, and told him I was also admiring them  in church as they sat so close to each other you would have thought that  the pew was filled to capacity with other people.  Yet, it was almost as if they were the only ones in the room as they looked lovingly into each others eyes.  Eyes that should be tired from age, yet when I look at their faces as we greeted each other in church, their eyes glow like two lovesick teenagers.  My friend and I  agreed that that couple gives us both hope that true love does still exsist.

Wow….another tangent.
Now lets get back to my sister.

After church, we all went to lunch together. The waitress had just brought us our food, as my sister stood up and screamed for her husband to run!!!!!  They take off outside like a flash.  It took a second to see what was going on… elderly man fell on the sidewalk face first into the pavement.   His wife, who was feeble herself, watched in sadness as they helped her husband up to a sitting position.  Some other people made their way outside to be of assistance as others called 911. 
I watched my sister put her arm around the elderly wife and comfort her as she watched her husband in pain.  While my sister’s husband knelt down beside the elderly gentleman and offered his own kind words to him.
Police came.  Ambulance showed up shortly after.  It took 5 people to help this gentleman (who refused to go to the hospital) to his car.  
My sis and her husband came inside, along with some other people who had assisted, washed their hands and sat down to what was now a cold meal.  Apparently, my sis (who works at a local bank and knows everyone’s name by heart) knew them as they were regular clients at the bank. 
She came in and told us what was said outside of the restaurant by the elderly lady.

The conversation went somewhat like this.

Sis:  Don’t worry, he’s going to be ok!

Lady:  He’ll be fine.  Help me get him up and we will go inside and eat lunch.

Sis: that’s probably not a good idea.

Lady:  you’re right, I’ll take him home so he can rest. Then we will come back later.

Sis:  please let me bring you your lunch today!!  At home!!

Lady: oh, he will be okay.  We will come back later.

We all had to chuckle her stubborn persistent behavior.  But like earlier in church as I was admiring my favorite couple, I admired this couple also.  Not many years left.  They were aging.  Their bodies were failing.  Legs were weak.  And strength is gone.  But he was taking his wife to lunch and she was determined he was going to! So sweet.  Such love.

My sister flagged the waitress down and ordered that couple lunch…called some connections…and found their address.  Looks like a nice lunch home, just the two of them.  Paid for by my sister, a Newlywed.

I saw my sister in a different light.  The loving sister that I remembered. The one she has always been, but our stubborn attitudes and pride has recently got in the way of our once very close relationship.

When my husband walked out,  I stopped loving.  I wanted all bonds to be severed between the people I loved and cared for.  Not because I was afraid they were going to leave, let’s face it, family is forever.  But because I felt I was incapable of loving and being loved in return.

People helping people. 
Random Acts of Kindness.
Lending a helping hand to strangers.
Buying a meal for someone you barely know.
Married for Eternity.
Best friends.
New friends.
Lost love.
Brother/sister bonds.
And me and my sister.

2015 has some positive things in store for me….
I’ll start by making amends with my best friend!
I love you Kerri.
I am proud of you.
Take care that husband of yours, he’s a good man! 



6 thoughts on “Comfort and Joy

  1. Great things will be happening for you in 2015 Crystal. Because you want them to happen. This is a wonderful post written with your eyes and heart open. And I learned that your name is Crystal. Merry Christmas to the whole family and your new friends, too. 🙂


  2. Gina says:

    There’s 5 years in between my sister and I. And we’ve had some very trying times. I know it might not be much coming from a 20-something like me, but despite the animosity, the fights, and what may sometimes feel like resentment, eventually you two will come back together and things will be as they should. I don’t think there’s many things stronger than the bond between siblings 🙂 Happy New Year.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s