Vacation.  Day#3.

Kids have decided to play tennis for an hour while I take some quiet time for myself and read my book.

Bwaaaa haaaaa……ok.  so kids did go to play tennis.    I tried to read my book, I really did, But this is a family resort and it is packed.   There’s about 150 people at the pool so far and I’m certain that 50 of them are wearing diapers…..75 are ages 8-14.  The rest are the weary tired parents.  Some have already started drinking. I’ll be honest, if I drank, I’d probably start drinking early myself.  Ha!!

Marco Polo can be heard screaming at every end of the pool.  Indoor and outdoor.

Grandparent’s are either snoring or reading their own books.  Mostly Danielle Steele or Karen Kingsbury.   While the younger mom’s are indulging in Fifty Shades. (Lucky husbands!)

Then comes the sounds that resonates in any mom’s ears….it will rock you to your very core and make you cringe.

Mom……I’m hungry
Mom……I’m tired
Mom……where is dad?

Ok, now your going to think I’m making this up.
I love to hear those sounds.

Tell the truth, how many times have you said That’s it, I’m changing my name!!!! I am no longer mom!
Oh we have all been there.

Mom….what a beautiful name.   I miss being that full time mom.  Divorce is a terrible thing.  But what I found unbearable is the fact I was no longer that “full time momma”.
It crushed my very soul.

We came to this exact location last year.  I remember crying most of the week.  I mean bawling!!!!!    I looked at all of the families together making memories and all I could think of was the main person, the most important person in my life, the glue that held our family together….he was gone.    I couldn’t hardly stand to  look at my kids because I felt like such a failure.

But today….as I sit here watching my daughter do endless flips In the water and swim back and forth, I was reminded that she actually learned how to swim in this very pool last year!!!!  It took the better part of the week and she liked to swim mostly in the indoor pool, but she did it!  I didn’t have much of a tan, but who needs one anyway.  I made an epic memory with that sweet little girl.

Then there is Adam…..
Yesterday and today as we walked around Busch Gardens I was also reminded of last year.
I could barely put one foot in front of the other, I was in complete despair as I tried to keep it together while watching mom’s and dad’s spend the day with their happy (and very lucky) families.   Adam and I waited in line for what seemed like eternity to ride the roller coasters. (Something I really didnt like doing, but had to suck it up because no one else could ride with him)
We got on that roller coaster and I heard him laughing and screaming at the top of his lungs as he rode his very first coaster with loops repeating the phrase I feel sooooo alive!!!!!!!  I remember exactly how my heart felt at that very moment.  FULL.  that is exactly how to describe it.  Just full.
And today…..we rode roller coasters all day!!   Something I didn’t like so much before and now we are roller coaster fanatics!   Another epic memory! !

Tonight,  while talking with my friend during our daily late night phone calls, he asked me If you could do it all over, what would you do differently?  
My response:  Absolutely nothing!
I wouldn’t change this life for anything.  My past was beautiful.  My future looks pretty good from here.  And my present is darn near perfect.
I look back on my life and I have the greatest memories.  As far as I can remember from childhood to marriage to just being a mommy….I have been blessed.     I was happy!!  And with God with me,  I will stay that way.

Life may take you on some unforseen detours along the way, but thank God for memories.
Past Present and Future!

Vacation…..I just love vacation.
Music to my ears!!!!

Until next time….don’t change your name.  Mommy sounds good on you!!

(And if you read this blog close enough, you will see that I started blogging while kids were playing tennis…..more than 10 hours later it was completed after the day at the pool and amusement park….followed by late night phone calls…..yep its now 1am!   Ahhhh a day in the life of a mom!!!!)


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