My Dad and His Secret Addiction.

There may be ticks on some of you chicks, but there aint no ticks on me!

ImageIf I had a dollar for every time I heard that statement from my dad, I would be a millionaire.  

Remember the Movie  “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”?  The dad was convinced that everything could be cured by putting Windex on it.  

That’s my dad!!  But his cure for everything is Skin So Soft.  Oh, I remember as a kid watching my dad lather himself up every Saturday with that greasy, strange smelling lotion as he went out to mow our 16 acres of beautiful land.  We would always giggle as we saw his skin glowing in the bright sunshine….He would laugh back and say “there may be ticks on some of you chicks, but there aint no ticks on me” as we chased him with our bikes up and down field.

Now, back in the day, we never used sun block.  (As we all know, baby oil gave you the best tan. haha)  As a family, we would get sheets from  the house and sprawl out in the back yard ready to get a radiant tan from the blaring sun.    Dad comes out, skin glistening in the sun, carrying his trusty bottle of Skin So Soft.     While we were squirming around trying to keep the bugs off of us, dad laid there peacefully.  “there may be ticks on some of you chicks, but there aint no ticks on me!” 

As we all know, WV winters are brutal.  Dad would usually spend mornings shoveling our driveway, then head off to the neighbors to shovel theirs.  He would be gone all day.  We used to say that Dad went on “visitation”.   I think he was just spoiled, he knew that sweet Mrs. Doss would have fried apple pies and coffee waiting for him.  Then off to Jerry and Donna Cooks house to spend the day watching the news and solving world problems while drinking another pot of coffee.  Eventually, he would come home, with a fried apple pie for each of us, put some logs on the fire and then disappear into the bathroom…..we would soon smell that all too familiar fragrance lingering through the house, oh how we would giggle because we knew what was coming next.  As we pressed our ears to the bathroom door, he shouted “there may be ticks on some of you chicks, but there aint no ticks on me!!”

I must warn you.  Skin so Soft can actually be dangerous also.  I remember many times as a child jumping into a bath tub forgetting dad previously used it and slipping.   I think at one point and time, we all were vicitms to dad’s crazy addiction of that greasy substance.

Last night, while eating dinner at my parents house, Adam started crying.  After an entire week of playing in a pool, his skin was raw from the chlorine and chemicals.  I started him some bath water, and without even thinking, ran upstairs and opened dad’s closet.  There it was…the big giant bottle of Skin so Soft.    (It says to use a cap full….another thing I learned from my father…use twice as much of everything, that way you will heal faster.)    Adam soaked it that warm water, as the greasy film rose to the surface of the bathtub.  He got out of the tub, and was so amazed that he didn’t itch and burn anymore and laughed hysterically and how greasy he felt.   
Then I heard it over the blaring of Gunsmoke on the tv…..”there may be ticks on some of you chicks, but there aint no ticks on ME AND ADAM!!!”    I laughed so hard, I thought I would cry.
Over the years I have learned these important lessons about Skin so Soft
  • it can be used as a bug repellant
  • It can be used as tanning oil
  • you can soothe your dry skin in winter
  • you can use it as a weapon or practical joke….(my butt is living proof, ouch)
  • it will even cure the itchy burning skin after exposed to too much chlorine.

Life lessons from my Father….Priceless!!!

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